Rose and I have been talking quite a bit lately. We chat over g-mail nearly every day, I've seen her three times this week, and I'll see her again tonight. Also, the e-mails have been flying back and forth like you wouldn't believe. It's been pretty interesting to get her perspective on the things that have been happening in our church. She's always interested in hearing what I have to say, too, which is encouraging to me. One of the main topics of conversation has been community and the fact that churches in our town, especially ones that call themselves reformed, don't have any fellowship with each other. It's odd that those who are supposed to be known by their love for one another don't ever see each other.
As a result of this scarceness of community, Rose has been getting to know some of the ladies that attend Grace OPC, and she and Tony have been attending Grace's Wednesday night prayer meetings every week. We were discussing this, over e-mail, when she said something like,'Now you're in on my secret...' She mentioned that she didn't talk about this fellowship with anyone else because of the unpleasant reaction she expected. I think the session might not like it, because of past relationships that are now severed, so I'm inclined to agree with her, and not spread it around too much. Here's what I wrote back:
And now you're in on mine. :) I don't usually talk about such controversial topics with anyone but Kelly, Robert, the Cumbees, and the Stuarts. Now you and Tony know that I'm not really presbyterian...it's a good thing I know your secret-- now I don't have to kill you. I have a guarantee that you won't talk: I know what you do on Wednesday nights!!! Mwa ha ha ha ha! ;)
Seriously, I don't think there's anything wrong with having a group of friends that go to another church; nor is it wrong to attend that church's activities. Especially if the church you attend is so young that there isn't a good, deep community yet. Mom said it's kind of like how babies learn; they either learn to walk or talk, but not both at the same time. They only have the energy for one thing, and she thinks that's the way our church is functioning now. It'll be a while before we're a body of friends AND a body of saints. So, I'm all for extending our community to include Grace. And it sounds like they're interested in befriending us, too.
But, you're right. There's a reason I don't tell people certain of my beliefs: it makes them nervous. They've never thought those things out, so all I get is a gut reaction...and it's usually negative. So, no one knows what I really think, which is odd; it seems like everyone would, the way they talk about me being so opinionated. I'm not sure, still, where to draw the line between being secretive, and being argumentative. I used to lean towards argumentative. Now I think I lean more towards secretive. It shows itself especially with my parents. It's not that I hide my thoughts from them, but I certainly don't pick fights. And when they ask for my opinion, I tell them, doing my best to be tactful. So, sometimes I feel like I'm being deceptive, and other times I feel like I'm being quarrelsome.
_________________
What began as a mere agreement became a short essay. That's been happening a lot lately. So, here's what I want to know: does anyone have any idea where that line between deception and thunder-puppyness is? And what can we do when we have a church that doesn't fellowship, within or without?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Yesterday, two things happened that pointed out again that we just don't live around people who speak our language.
Mike told me that Friday afternoon at work he happened to mention to a coworker that, with the great winds we have up here, he'd like to put up a wind generator. The man immediately lit into him, saying things like there's not as much wind in this area as there used to be, and it's bad to rely on Mother Nature, blah blah blah, companies giong out of business, blah blah blah, the apocalypse... It was nuts. He's a deal older than us, so we figured maybe he was a hippie and tried living off the land back when that was a cool hippie thing in the 60s and 70s and got burned. Who knows why he had such a visceral reaction to Mike's dreaming about generating some of our own power!
The other thing happened earlier that day. This week we met a home schooling family who are also new to this area and live on the other side of 301, and Friday morning they were visiting us. During our talk (Do you know so-and-so? No? Well, have you met this other person?) I told her about the families in our neighborhood, and I mentioned old Mr. W, the cattle rancher who lives up the road from us, past the farm you can see from our kitchen. He sort of makes the rounds in this neighborhood, checking up on people and offering advice. I think you remember this family - I've mentioned before that they've been here for over 300 years and all the land around here used to be part of his family's estate. Anyway, as I was describing this man to K, I said, "He's kind of the local gentry," and she snorted, rolled her eyes, and said, "Self-proclaimed, at least!"
I really didn't know what to say and the subject was changed before I could think of anything, but obviously, what I meant as praise, she saw as carrying all sorts of negative implications.
Hm. All this has absolutely nothing to do with your question at the end of the post. I think I had a point when I began, but I've lost it. :-p
I've taken to thinking (not always practicing) that I should speak when spoken to: offer my opinion when asked.
This obviously doesn't apply if it's a sin matter.
And therein lies the rub: discerning when it actually is a sin matter, and when it's just something I happen to be passionate about.
Kelly
I understand your point. That's my main problem: trying to explain myself and what I believe to people who don't understand, but who deserve an explanation.
Part of what I like about St. Peter church is that they get to speak and live as they believe they should, without as much (seemingly) fruitless explanation to neighbors and fellow church members as we have.
Post a Comment