Right, here's the deal. I have wanted to attend NSA for years. Yes, really. Miss No-I-won't-go-to-college-and-you-can't-make-me has kept this hidden and is now sheepishly bringing it out into the open. The desire is too great. My parents are still urging independence. And I'm not in danger of getting married any time soon (not from what I can see, anyway). What to do?
I post this is because I know you all will tell me exactly what you think. I've said over and over again, repetitively and redundantly, that I don't want to leave my family if it's possible for me to stay. They, however, are getting closer and closer to pushing me out of the nest. Can I, in good conscience, move to Idaho to go to college when they finally do the deed? Would I even have the money to go to school? Could I withstand the rigours of NSA?
My parents want me to go to college- they always have. I have consistently said no. Can I finally do what they want only because I want to do it too? That seems a silly question.
Advise me, O Counsellours. I need help to think this through.
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6 comments:
Wow. I'll have to sleep on this one!
You're telling me!
Tell me what you think. There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, "Son, go and work today in the vineyard."
"I will not," he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.
Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, "I will, sir," but he did not go.
Which of the two did what his father wanted?
Don't ever think that because you've decided to obey your parents after a long resistance that it doesn't count, or it really isn't obedience after all, since it wasn't done perfectly at the first. "God takes us where we are, not where we should have been," to quote a favorite pastor of ours.
;-)
I seem to remember hearing that parable several times before. Do you think, then, that obedience is the real issue here?
I would hate to not do something just because I'm embarrassed at having "changed my mind", or what-have-you, but I'm afraid that's what I'm doing.
Just trying to think through this with you...
Is going to college actually a sin? Or is it more like something that can be unwise if you're not very careful?
I'm inclined to think it's the second, and since your parents aren't asking you to do something that's actually sinful, rather it's something that could be a great blessing if done the right way, that NSA is a very good option for you.
As a student at NSA you'd always have the option of living in another household, so you wouldn't necessarily be living in an unprotected situation (part of your reason for wanting to stay home) but you'd be more out on your own (part of your parents' reason for wanting you to go to college).
We could even contact Peter and Claire Roise (my kids' online teacher) and see if they already have a student lined up for next year, and if not, if you could join their household. They are a wonderful family. (To take a look at their blog, go to Katherine's blogroll and click "Mr. Roise.")
Anyway, one thing that comes to mind is the stereotype of the woman who wears a head covering to church, despite her husband's protestations, in order to show her submission to her husband. I think you've wonderfully shown your desire to live as a godly young woman in submission to your parents, but don't let that very good desire cause you to be stubborn in its insistance on what godly submission looks like. If that makes sense.
I hope I'm thinking and counseling clearly because, frankly, if it were me, I'd jump at the chance. I have no idea what your financial situation is like, but you've certainly got the determination and the academic foundation to benefit from an education at NSA.
Have you mentioned NSA to your parents, and are they willing to pay (or to help pay) for it?
Actually, this is exactly what I wanted to hear from you. I'm thinking a bunch of things at once but I can't seem to straighten them all out...so you've helped a lot.
I have talked with my parents, but only a little bit. The problem is the money- even though NSA is fairly cheap, it's still more than I have. I would have to get a scholarship of some sort, and it would have to be a pretty big one.
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